Young Adults of St Francis

Archive for May 2011

Ever wonder how your information gets leaked out to certain companies, third party members, advertisements, etc? Well this might be one of the reasons…Obviously in a world of technology and various means of online communication, one can’t be too careful about internet usage, so I thought to post this interesting article that was featured today.

Yours truly,

A College Student

‘Like’ Button Follows Web Users

Internet users tap Facebook Inc.’s “Like” and Twitter Inc.’s “Tweet” buttons to share content with friends. But these tools also let their makers collect data about the websites people are visiting.

These so-called social widgets, which appear atop stories on news sites or alongside products on retail sites, notify Facebook and Twitter that a person visited those sites even when users don’t click on the buttons, according to a study done for The Wall Street Journal.

These widgets are prolific. They have been added to millions of web pages in the past year. Facebook’s buttons appear on a third of the world’s 1,000 most-visited websites, according to the study. Buttons from Twitter and Google Inc. (NASDAQ: GOOGNews) appear on 20% and 25% of those sites, respectively.

The widgets, which were created to make it easy to share content with friends and to help websites attract visitors, are a potentially powerful way to track Internet users. They could link users’ browsing habits to their social-networking profile, which often contains their name.

For example, Facebook or Twitter know when one of their members reads an article about filing for bankruptcy on MSNBC.com or goes to a blog about depression called Fighting the Darkness, even if the user doesn’t click the “Like” or “Tweet” buttons on those sites.

For this to work, a person only needs to have logged into Facebook or Twitter once in the past month. The sites will continue to collect browsing data, even if the person closes their browser or turns off their computers, until that person explicitly logs out of their Facebook or Twitter accounts, the study found.

Facebook, Twitter, Google and other widget-makers say they don’t use browsing data generated by the widgets to track users; Facebook says it only uses the data for advertising purposes when a user clicks on a widget to share content with friends.

Facebook and Google, which has a widget for its “Buzz” social-networking service, say they “anonymize” browsing data so the information is not traced to a particular user. Facebook says the data are deleted within 90 days, while Google says data are deleted within two weeks.

Facebook and Google say they use the information to measure the widgets’ effectiveness and help other websites attract visitors.

Twitter says it doesn’t use such browsing data and deletes it “quickly.” A spokesman says the company could in theory use the data to “surface better content” for users in the future.

Revelations about the social widgets come amid growing concern about the privacy of Internet and smartphone users. Members of Congress have introduced at least five privacy-related bills this year, including three that aim to create a mechanism that would let users disable tracking.

Some privacy advocates express concerns, citing prior Facebook and Google stumbles over privacy issues.

“Our reading habits online encompass everything we’re thinking about, political and religious views, health and relationship problems,” said Peter Eckersley, a senior technologist at the Electronic Frontier Foundation, a privacy-advocacy group. “Do you want to have an invisible person peering over your shoulder as you walk through the library?”

Widget makers say the collection of users’ Web-browsing activity is an unintended side effect of how the tools work. In order to show a user which of their online friends “liked” a particular article, for example, the widget must know who the user is.

To determine the prevalence of widgets and how they collect information, the Journal asked Brian Kennish, a former Google engineer, to examine the 1,000 most-popular websites, as ranked by Google’s advertising network. Mr. Kennish last year launched Disconnect Inc., which offers software to block data collection by widgets.

Mr. Kennish’s study examined more than 200,000 Web pages on the top 1,000 sites. He found Facebook obtained browsing data from 331 sites, and Google obtained data from 250 sites, some of it from its Buzz widget. Twitter got browsing information from about 200 sites.

Social-sharing widgets first appeared about five years ago, when online services such as Digg Inc. allowed users to share news articles. At the time, widgets did not cause browsing data to be collected by social sites. Widgets are installed by website owners, who like them because they can help generate more Web traffic.

Last year, Facebook introduced the “Like” button and other “smart” widgets. The widgets work with cookies that Facebook places in a Web browser when a user creates an account or logs in to its site. Together, they allow Facebook to recognize its users on any site with Facebook widgets.

Bret Taylor, Facebook’s chief technology officer, says the technology lets websites show visitors what articles their friends liked, for example. “We don’t use them for tracking and they’re not intended for tracking,” he says.

But Facebook says it still places a cookie on the computer of anyone who visits the Facebook.com home page, even if the user isn’t a member. Mr. Taylor says Facebook uses such cookies to protect the site from cyberattacks by people who try to break in to users’ accounts, among other things.

Until recently, some Facebook widgets also obtained browsing data about Internet users who had never visited Facebook.com, though Facebook wouldn’t know their identity. The company says it discontinued that practice, which it described as a “bug,” earlier this year after it was disclosed by a researcher in the Netherlands.

—Geoffrey A. Fowler contributed to this article.

http://finance.yahoo.com/family-home/article/112769/like-button-follows-users-wsj

Due to the likelihood of strong storms and rain, we have been forced to cancel the event.

The “Relay for Life” has been rescheduled to Saturday, June 4th from 6pm-Midnight at Lone Star High School. So mark your calendars if you’d like to participate and that also means that those of you who wanted to but were unable to, NOW YOU CAN! 🙂

Yours truly,

A College Student

Man + Woman = Friendship?

If men are from Mars and women are from Venus, it may explain at least one of their shared beliefs: Men and women can’t be real friends. Blame the sexual tension that almost inevitably exists between any red-blooded, heterosexual man and woman. Point to the jealousy that plagues many rational people when a significant other befriends someone of the opposite sex. Boil it down to the inherent differences between the sexes. It just can’t be done. Right?

Wrong, relationship experts have said. “The belief that men and women can’t be friends comes from another era in which women were at home and men were in the workplace, and the only way they could get together was for romance,” explained Linda Sapadin, a psychologist in Valley Stream, New York. “Now they work together and share sports interests and socialize together.” This cultural shift has encouraged psychologists, sociologists and communications experts to put forth a new message: Though it may be tricky, men and women can successfully become close friends. What’s more, there are good reasons for them to do so.

Society has long singled out romance as the prototypical male-female relationship because it spawns babies and keeps the life cycle going; cross-sex friendship, as researchers call it, has been either ignored or trivialized. We have rules for how to act in romantic relationships (flirt, date, get married, have kids) and even same-sex friendships (boys relate by doing activities together, girls by talking and sharing). But there are so few platonic male-female friendships on display that we’re at a loss to even define these relationships.

Part of this confusion stems from the media. A certain classic film starring Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal convinced a nation of moviegoers that sex always comes between men and women, making true friendship impossible. “When Harry Met Sally set the potential for male-female friendship back about 25 years,” said Michael Monsour, assistant professor of communications at the University of Colorado at Denver and author of Women and Men as Friends. Television hasn’t helped either. “Almost every time you see a male-female friendship, it winds up turning into romance,” Monsour noted. Think Sam and Diane or Chandler and Monica. These cultural images are hard to overcome, he said. It’s no wonder we expect that men and women are always on the road to romance.

But that’s only one of the major barriers. Don O’Meara, Ph.D., at the University of Cincinnati-Raymond Walters College, published a landmark study in the journal Sex Roles on the top impediments to cross-sex friendship. “I started my research because one of my best friends is a woman,” said O’Meara. “She said, ‘Do you think anyone else has the incredible friendship we do?'” He decided to find out, and after reviewing the scant existing research, O’Meara identified the following challenges to male-female friendship: defining it, dealing with sexual attraction, seeing each other as equals, facing people’s responses to the relationship and meeting in the first place.

CHALLENGE #1

Defining the Relationship: Friends or Lovers?

Platonic love does exist, O’Meara asserted, and a study of 20 pairs of friends published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships lends credence to the notion. In it, Heidi Reeder, at Boise State University, confirmed that “friendship attraction” or a connection devoid of lust, is a bona fide type of bond that people experience. Distinguishing between romantic, sexual and friendly feelings, however, can be exceedingly difficult.

“People don’t know what feelings are appropriate toward the opposite sex, unless they’re what our culture defines as appropriate,” said O’Meara. “You know you love someone and enjoy them as a person, but not enough to date or marry them. What does this mean?”

CHALLENGE #2

Overcoming Attraction: Let’s Talk About Sex

The reality that sexual attraction could suddenly enter the equation of a cross-sex friendship uninvited is always lurking in the background. A simple, platonic hug could instantaneously take on a more amorous meaning. “You’re trying to do a friend-friend thing,” said O’Meara, “but the male-female parts of you get in the way.” Unwelcome or not, the attraction is difficult to ignore.

In a study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, Sapadin asked more than 150 professional men and women what they liked and disliked about their cross-sex friendships. Topping women’s list of dislikes: sexual tension. Men, on the other hand, more frequently replied that sexual attraction was a prime reason for initiating a friendship, and that it could even deepen a friendship. Either way, 62 percent of all subjects reported that sexual tension was present in their cross-sex friendships.

CHALLENGE #3

Establishing Equality: The Power Play

Friendship should be a pairing of equals. But, O’Meara said, “in a culture where men have always been more equal than women, male dominance, prestige and power is baggage that both men and women are likely to bring to a relationship.” Women are at risk of subconsciously adopting a more submissive role in cross-sex friendships, he said, although that is slowly changing as society begins to treat both genders more equally.

CHALLENGE #4

The Public Eye: Dealing with Doubters

Society may not be entirely ready for friendships between men and women that have no sexual subtext. People with close friends of the opposite sex are often barraged with nudging, winking and skepticism: “Are you really just friends?” This is especially true, said O’Meara, of older adults, who grew up when men and women were off-limits to each other until marriage.

CHALLENGE #5

The Meeting Place: Finding Friends

As the workplace and other social arenas become increasingly open to women, the sexes are mingling more and more. Still, men and women continue to have surprisingly few opportunities to interact.

“Boys and girls form their own gender groups in elementary school,” explained Monsour. “They learn their own ways of relating to each other. So when they do get together, inspired by puberty, they see each other as dating partners because they’ve never really known each other as friends.” A surprisingly major factor in this phenomenon is the kids’ own innate interest in children who act like they do. Called “voluntary gender segregation,” it continues into adulthood. “You see it at cocktail parties,” said Monsour. “Men go off to one corner, and women go to another.”

These obstacles may seem numerous and formidable, but male-female friendship is becoming not only a possibility but also a necessity. If men and women are to work, play and coexist in modern society, researchers believe men and women must learn to understand and communicate with each other. To that end, social scientists like Sapadin, Monsour and O’Meara have studied how to do just that. The field of research is still in its infancy, but they are now beginning to understand some basic truths about male-female friendship:

TRUTH #1

Friendship Is Not Equal Opportunity

Not until high school does puberty really draw boys and girls together, which then continues into college. But as people develop serious romantic relationships or get married, making and maintaining cross-sex friendships becomes harder. “Even the most secure people in a strong marriage probably don’t want a spouse to be establishing a new friendship, especially with someone who’s very attractive,” said Monsour.

The number of cross-sex friendships continues to decline with age—not surprising, because most older adults grew up in an age where consorting with the opposite sex outside of wedlock was taboo. According to Rosemary Blieszner, at Virginia Tech and author of Adult Friendship, elderly people rarely form new friendships with members of the opposite sex. Her research shows that only about 2 percent of the friendships elderly women have are with men.

TRUTH #2

Men Benefit More from Cross-Sex Friendship

There are proven—and apparent—distinct differences between female friendship and male friendship. Women spend the majority of their time together discussing their thoughts and feelings, while men tend to be far more group-oriented. Males gather to play sports or travel or talk stock quotes; rarely do they share feelings or personal reflections. This may explain why they seem to get far more out of cross-sex friendship than their female counterparts.

In Sapadin’s study, men rated cross-sex friendships as being much higher in overall quality, enjoyment and nurturance than their same-sex friendships. What they reported liking most was talking and relating to women—something they can’t do with their buddies. Meanwhile, women rated their same-sex friendships higher on all these counts. They expect more emotional rewards from friendship than men do, explained Sapadin, so they’re easily disappointed when they don’t receive them. “Women confide in women,” noted Blieszner. “Men confide in women.”

TRUTH #3

…But Women Benefit, Too

All that sharing and discussing in female-female friendship can become exhausting, as any woman who’s stayed up all night comforting a brokenhearted girlfriend can attest. With men, women can joke and banter without any emotional baggage. “Friendships with men are lighter, more fun,” said Sapadin. “Men aren’t so sensitive about things.” Some women in her study also liked the protective, familial and casual warmth they got from men, viewing them as surrogate big brothers. What they liked most of all, however, was getting some insight into what guys really think.

TRUTH #4

Cross-Sex Friendships Are Emotionally Rewarding

Although women dig men’s lighthearted attitude, most male-female friendships resemble women’s emotionally involving friendships more than they do men’s activity-oriented relationships, according to Kathy Werking, at Eastern Kentucky University and author of We’re Just Good Friends. Her work has shown that the number one thing male and female friends do together is talk one-on-one. Other activities they prefer—like dining out and going for drives—simply facilitate that communication. In fact, Werking found, close male-female friends are extremely emotionally supportive if they continuously examine their feelings, opinions and ideas. “Males appreciate this because it tends not to be a part of their same-sex friendships,” she said. “Females appreciate garnering the male perspective.”

TRUTH #5

It’s Not All About Sex

“In reality, sex isn’t always on the agenda,” said Werking. “That could be due to sexual orientation, lack of physical attraction or involvement in another romantic relationship.” After all, even friends who are attracted to each other may also recognize that qualities they tolerate in a friendship wouldn’t necessarily work in a serious romantic relationship. And after years of considering someone as a friend, it often becomes difficult to see a cross-sex pal as a romantic possibility.

Of pairs that do face the question of lust, those that decide early on to bypass an uncertain romantic relationship are more likely to have an enduring friendship, says Werking. One study by Walid Afifi, of Penn State University, showed that of more than 300 college students surveyed, 67 percent reported having had sex with a friend. Interestingly, 56 percent of those subjects did not transition the friendship into a romantic relationship, suggesting that they preferred friendship over sex.

TRUTH #6

Male-Female Friendships Are Political

Men and women have increasingly similar rights, opportunities and interests, which can make cross-sex friendship very political, noted Werking. “It upsets the agreed-upon social order,” she explains. “Women and men engage in an equal relationship, or they aren’t friends.” For one thing, new generations of kids grow up believing that boys can play with dolls and girls can take kickboxing, and they’re crossing paths more frequently as a result.

Men and women are also becoming more androgynous as their societal roles become more similar. “Men are more willing to have feminine characteristics, and women are a lot more willing to admit to traditionally masculine characteristics, like assertiveness,” said Monsour. His dissertation showed that women and men categorized as androgynous had twice the number of cross-sex friends.

Whatever the challenges of male-female friendship, researchers agree that to succeed as friends, both genders have to openly and honestly negotiate exactly what their relationship will mean—whether sexual attraction is a factor and how they’ll deal with it—and establish boundaries. In Afifi’s and Reeder’s studies, the friendships that survived—and even thrived—after sex or attraction came into play were those in which the friends extensively discussed the meaning of the sexual activity and felt confident and positive about each other’s feelings. Once they got past that, they were home free.

“If sex is part of the dynamic, addressing it explicitly is the best strategy” for making sure the friendship survives, said Werking. “The issue will fester if friends try to ignore it.” So in the end, male-female friendship does have something in common with romantic relationships: To work, communication is key.

Researchers tell us that men and women can be friends. But do we really believe them? A survey of more than 1,450 members of the Match.com dating site revealed that we’re an optimistic bunch:

  1. Do you believe men and women can be platonic friends?Yes: 83%

    No: 11%

    Unsure: 6%

  2. Have you had a platonic friendship that crossed the line and became romantic or sexual?Yes: 62%

    No: 36%

    Unsure: 2%

  3. Who is more likely to misinterpret the intimacy of friendship for sexual desire?Men: 64%

    Women: 25%

    Unsure: 11%

  4. Is it possible to fall in love with someone who first enters your life as a friend?Yes: 94%

    No: 4%

    Unsure: 2%

  5. Do you hope that when you do fall in love, your partner will have started out as your friend?Yes: 71%

    No: 9%

    Unsure: 20%

  6. Who is better at keeping sex out of a platonic relationship?Men: 13%

    Women: 67%

    Unsure: 20%

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200109/can-men-and-women-be-friends?page=3

TASTE OF ADDISON 2011…this SATURDAY!

Join the St Francis Young Adults (SFYA) – Married Ministry as we invite you for a tasty day of food, music (Cody Canada and The Departed and Third Eyed Blind) and family fun at Taste of Addison 2011 on Saturday, May 21st.

Addison Circle Park
4970 Addison Circle Drive
Addison, TX

Open to ALL Young Adults ages College, 20’s, 30’s.

This festival features over 60 Addison restaurants serving generous samplings of their menus at reduced prices and great entertainment.

Gate admission is $5.00 before 5pm.

Bring your blankets and meet up with the SFYA Ministry on the lawn in front of the main stage.

Contact Melissa Hunt at sfyainfo@yahoo.com for more information or visit http://www.addisontexas.net/

Between May 13 and October 13, 1917, three Portuguese children received apparitions of Our Lady at Cova da Iria, near Fatima, a city 110 miles north of Lisbon. (See February 20 entry for Blessed Jacinta and Francisco Marto). Mary asked the children to pray the rosary for world peace, for the end of World War I, for sinners and for the conversion of Russia. The third visionary, Lucia dos Santos, became a Carmelite nun and died in 2005 at the age of 97.

Mary gave the children three secrets. Since Francisco died in 1919 and Jacinta the following year, Lucia, who later became a Carmelite nun, revealed the first secret in 1927, concerning devotion to the Immaculate Heart of Mary. The second secret was a vision of hell.

Pope John Paul II directed the Holy See’s Secretary of State to reveal the third secret in 2000; it spoke of a ‘bishop in white’ who was shot by a group of soldiers who fired bullets and arrows into him. Many people linked this to the assassination attempt against Pope John Paul II in St. Peter’s Square on May 13, 1981.

The feast of Our Lady of Fatima was approved by the local bishop in 1930; it was added to the Church’s worldwide calendar in 2002. Sister Lucia died in 2005 at the age of 97.

Neon lips, blue eyeshadow, shimmering glitter, and golden bronzers: This spring, some of the most dramatic looks we saw on the runways are making their way onto our faces. But not everything we dabble on pleases everyone. We had a hunch that some of our biggest beauty obsessions might be turn-offs for guys…so we went ahead asked. Prepare yourself: brutal honesty ensues.

1. Heavy foundation and powders: “No guy wants to kiss a girl on the cheek and then find he¹s wearing foundation himself.” A flaking face is one thing, but when your cheek becomes a palette of skin-tone colors, men pay attention…and not the good attention. “I’m always amazed to see women with two-tone faces, two apparently different shades of skin on the face, as if they apply makeup in the dark,” says James Oliver Cury, the online editorial director at Maxim. “I’d rather see one greasy face than some sort of melanin imbalance. The nose should match the cheeks.”

2. “Bumps”: “I never liked, or knew of any other guy who liked, the Gwen Stefani “bumpit” look,” says Henry Belanger, an editor at The Good Men Project. “Be wary of anything that makes your head look unnaturally large.”

3. Neon lipstick: Most of the fashion world agreed that electric pouts were a beauty “do” this season. Some men, however, beg to differ. “Orange lips are definitely a departure from what we’re used to and not necessarily something a lot of guys I know really respond to just quite yet,” say fashion blogger John Januzzi of Lucky and the fashion website, Textbook.

4. Too-thin brows:“My pet peeve is overly plucked eyebrows,” says David Swanson, Maxim’s Features Editor.”I mean, really? It’s basically an advertisement that naturally you’re hairier than Robin Williams. If it looks natural, we’d never have to wonder.”

5. Bold eye-shadow: “I don’t understand the revival of bright blue eyeshadow,” proposes Maxim’s Cury. “Is it retro? Is it purposefully over-the-top? To my eyes, it just looks tacky no matter how you wear it.” Lucky’s Januzzi isn’t as bothered by color as he is by application. “Smoky eyes–when done right are great–very sexy and attractive but when done wrong they look a total mess,” he says. “Seek professional guidance before trying at home.”

6. Rosy cheeks: “As far as make-up goes, I think rouge is for old ladies,” adds Good Men Project’s Belanger. “I think guys generally prefer the kind of make-up you don’t notice is there, and since there’s a lot that guys don’t notice I think women have a lot of leeway.”

7. Two-toned lips:Remember Kim Mathers? She was almost as famous for her lip liner issues as she was for being defamed by Eminem. According to our dude survey, the pucker problem was more serious. “When I see thin lines drawn around a pair of lips, I think: Is this part of some gang initiation rite?” says Cury.

8. Glitter:“Women need to be judicious with it,” says Cury. “It¹s like any good seasoning. You shouldn’t shake it all over. It can overwhelm the main course.”

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/beauty/make-up-women-love-but-men-hate-2479792/

It’s no secret that the language of love isn’t always the most, well, direct. That’s why so many single people spend hours analyzing emails from dates trying to figure out if “I’m busy at work” is a brush-off, or wondering whether that invitation of “I’ll make dinner for you” indicates a desire to share a whole lot more than a favorite garlic chicken recipe. How can you suss out what someone’s really trying to say? To help you out, we got a bevy of dating experts to decode eight common lines so you’ll spend less time scratching your head and more time communicating.

Line #1: “I’d love to stay out, but I have to get up really early tomorrow.”
What it means: “Sorry, you just aren’t floating my boat.”

Of course, if it’s 2 a.m. or your date follows up with, “But let’s get together soon — maybe this weekend?” the fact that he or she want to end the date is no big deal. But if the night is young or your date mentions an aversion to staying out late in the middle of, say, appetizers, that’s not a good sign. Your date may sense there’s no connection and want to exit sooner rather than later, says Steve Nakamoto, author of Men Are Like Fish: What Every Woman Needs to Know About Catching A Man. At least look at the upside: this person’s also freeing you from a situation that’s not going anywhere, so just enjoy your dinner, then skedaddle.

Line #2: “I had such a good time with you.”
What it means: “Wow, you’re actually fun and different from all the other guys/girls!”

This sentence might sound generic, but try saying it out loud. It sounds far more intense than a mere “I had a nice night,” doesn’t it? “This is a way of revealing how you feel without getting too heavy,” says Laurie Puhn, J.D., author of Instant Persuasion: How to Change Your Words to Change Your Life. “The person is letting you know that he or she really might like you, and trying to find out if you possibly feel the same.” So if the interest is mutual, let your date know by responding in kind.

Line #3: “I’m just not ready for a relationship.”
What it means: “I’m just not in love with you.”

It’s hard when someone you like tells you he or she’s not in a place to seriously date anyone. But it also makes you hope that the problem is timing, not your personalities. If you can just be patient, you think, things could percolate, right? Wrong. “This means ‘I don’t love you, so if that’s what you want, we should break up,’” says Puhn. Don’t be fooled — when this person does meet someone who has that spark, he or she will indeed be ready for a relationship.

Line #4: “I’d love to meet up, but I’m just really busy with work right now.”
What it means: “I’m trying to think of a really nice way to blow you off.”

Of course, this person could very well have a full schedule that week. But if he or she doesn’t offer any alternative dates to hang out, what you’re really being told is that this person would rather work than hang out with you. (Sorry.) “Your date very well could be busy. The question is whether your date’s focusing on the problem or finding a solution,” says Puhn. “You can always get away long enough for dinner or a coffee with someone or say, ‘I’m going to call you in two weeks after this project is done.’ It’s a matter of priorities.” So if your date isn’t trying to pencil you in, it could be time to write that person off.

Line #5: “So, gotten any funny emails on Match.com lately?”
What it means: “Are you interested in seeing each other exclusively?”

Let’s face it, it’s intimidating to ask: “So, are you seeing anyone else?” And with online dating, there’s a sneakier way to put out feelers: by asking a question that reveals whether someone’s been checking his or her Match.com account for new suitors. “In online dating, you can receive flirtatious emails 24/7, so leaving your profile up sends a message that you’re still open to other prospects,” says Nakamoto. So if your date’s asking anything about your online activities, it’s probably a sign he or she might pop the “So… do you want to see each other exclusively?” question soon.

Line #6: “So, want to meet for coffee?”
What it means: “Want to meet for a coffee and then have dinner if we like each other?”

It’s always smart to schedule a short, easy-to-end date when you’re first meeting a new person. “Committing to dinner with someone new can seem like too much for a person who doesn’t want to get stuck at a table for hours if things aren’t clicking,” explains Puhn. Still, many online daters will leave the ensuing hours free in case you two hit it off. That doesn’t mean you should head to your rendezvous with overly high expectations and an empty stomach. If you’re hungry, eat already. If you end up wanting to prolong the fun on your date, you can always suggest going for dessert or a drink.

Line #7: “I’m meeting my friends — want to come?”
What it means: “I really like you and want to know if you get along with my pals.”

It may sound like a casual invite, but what your date is saying is that he or she is totally comfortable being seen with you as a couple — and is interested in how you’ll relate to his or her closest comrades. “Meeting the friends is an approval thing,” says Nakamoto. “Women want to see how he treats their friends, and men want to know if his friends like the girl.” It may seem intimidating, but it should actually boost your ego: You’ve passed the first tests and are now on your way to becoming a full-time boyfriend or girlfriend — provided the buddies sign off. If you’re feeling just as positive about the relationship, say “Yes,” and charm away.

Line #8: “Why don’t you come over and I’ll cook for you?”
What it means: “Ready to see whether you want to take things to the next level?”

Cooking for a person is a show of intimacy in a couple of ways. “The person is really inviting you into his or her life,” says Puhn. “Someone’s apartment is his or her whole world, so it shows this person is obviously very comfortable with you.” Then, of course, there’s the fact that you’ll conveniently be just a few steps from the couch — and cuddling — later that night. If it’s a first or early date, this might actually be a bit too personal, especially if you’re not sure how you feel about your future together. But if you’re pretty sure you’re ready to explore things further, congratulations, tonight could be the night!

http://yahoo.match.com/y/article.aspx?articleid=6299


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